


I'll Remember For You

by owains



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Car Accidents, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-02-28 07:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2723234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owains/pseuds/owains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky's family gets into an accident, Steve follows his boyfriend along the road to recovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to my wonderful beta! Find her on tumblr here: http://snowballbucky.tumblr.com/

As soon as Steve heard ‘family of four involved in fatal car wreck,’ he became concerned. As soon as he saw a car that looked strikingly similar to that of the Barnes’, he became anxious. As soon as the news anchor said ‘parents dead; 8-year-old daughter and 17-year-old son rushed to Brooklyn Hospital Center,’ he wanted to cry. Steve fumbled for the television remote and switched the set off; he sat for a moment, tears prickling behind his lids, unable to fathom what he had just seen. He picked up his phone and typed in ‘car wreck brooklyn ny.’ Sure enough, a few articles came up, the most recent showing times of not even an hour ago. He didn’t even dare clicking on any of them.

Panic rushed through him as he opened his phone's messenger. It took a few agonizing seconds for him to gain control of his fingers before he sent Bucky a worried 'hey are you okay?' Steve stared blankly at his phone, his large hands shaking as he tried desperately to stay calm. Not even a minute had passed before he was calling his mom, who was most likely -he looked quickly at his phone clock- nearing the end of her hospital shift; she would know what to do. Steve’s eyes darted around the room around the room as he tried to calm his breathing before his mother picked up with a breathless, "What is it, Steve?"

"Mom!" Steve blurted, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm "I just saw the news and I just- Ma, is Bucky there?" He blinked rapidly, trying with all his will not to cry. His mother paused for a moment. "I'm sorry..." she finally replied, and Steve felt his world come crashing down around him "He and Rebecca came in about half an hour ago."

 _Oh God_ , he thought. _This can't be happening_. "I'll be there in 10," he said shakily. "Baby, no-" she started, but was cut off by a sharp 'Sarah, room 106, stat!' She sighed softly. "Okay, fine. I have to go now, okay? I love you," she whispered. Steve reciprocated, hung up, and gathered his things on his way out the door.

Steve considered it a miracle that he didn’t have a panic attack right there on the street. The walk-- or in Steve’s case, power-walk-- to the hospital was short, but invasive thoughts attacked him nonetheless. What if Bucky died and left Rebecca an orphan? What if little Rebecca died and left behind a devastated Bucky? What if they both died? An entire family dead, within only a few short hours. Steve shivered at the thought and quickened his pace, hardly noticing the concerned and confused stares of the commuters directed towards him, pushing his 6 foot tall, broad shouldered frame through them with hastily mumbled apologies.

Stumbling frantically through the hospital, he suddenly became aware of a hot wetness on his cheeks and the raw scratch of his uneven breathing. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and quickly approached the nurse sitting at the front desk. She looked bored sitting there, but plastered on a fake smile as soon as she saw Steve. "How may I help you, sir?" she questioned.

Steve inhaled deeply through his nose, before releasing a shaky sigh. "U-uh, I'm here to see James and Rebecca Barnes," he stuttered. The nurse nodded and typed something into her computer. "Okay... what is your relationship to the patients?"

"Cousin," he lied. The nurse nodded again knowingly and glanced at her screen. “Well, it doesn’t look like either of them will be ready for visitors for awhile…" she trailed off, leaning towards her monitor. “Rebecca is currently being screened for head and internal trauma, while James is getting prepped for the operation room.”

Steve went cold. "Operation room? _Why_?" he asked incredulously. The nurse paused for a moment, scanning Bucky's file. "It says here that his left arm has several torn blood vessels and tissues,” she answered sympathetically. “It appears the damage is beyond the point of being treatable, so the doctors decided the best choice was amputation." Steve's stomach turned, and he had to brace himself against the desk, biceps straining through the thin cotton of his t-shirt. _Amputation? The best choice? They can’t cut off his arm. They can’t just do that. How could they just decide to do that to him, to Bucky?_ Frowning , the nurse reached over the desk and patted Steve's forearm with a gentle hand. "Are you okay, sir?"

He nodded weakly and opened his mouth to talk, but his mouth was as dry as a desert. Nothing came out. Instead, he opted for quietly taking a seat and hiding his face in his knees, begging for everything to be a dream.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Some time later, Steve was being shaken awake; he hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep. Grumbling a bit, he squinted up at the person who had woken him.

“Hey, honey,” came the gentle voice. Steve yawned and scratched his unshaven chin. “Ma?” he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Steve, honey, it’s almost 11. I’m going home. You should come with me,” his mother said in a soft voice. Steve peered up at her and wiped some drool from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“No, Ma, I’m gonna stay right here and wait for Bucky and Becca,” he insisted. “I need to see them.”

Sarah furrowed her eyebrows and opened her mouth to speak-- most likely to protest-- but stopped in her tracks. Her expression softened and placed her hand on her son's knee. “Alright,” she said. “Do you need anything, sweetie? Food, money, a blanket, Bucky bear?” Sarah smiled sweetly and caressed his knee. Steve knew the last offer was a joke, but he couldn’t find it in himself to laugh. As long as he didn't know what was happening with Bucky, he couldn't feel happy. “No, m’fine,” he mumbled, forcing a meek smile. Sarah put a hand on his cheek and bent over him, kissing his forehead.

“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning. I promise you, Bucky and Rebecca will be okay,” she said, trying to comfort Steve, though it was in vain. He merely nodded and watched her walk out the door.

Steve tried his best to believe her as he fell back asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my wonderful beta! Find her on tumblr here: http://snowballbucky.tumblr.com/

Steve woke up that morning by the hustle and bustle of the hospital; babies crying, phones ringing, people murmuring to one another. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, stretching his legs out in front of him. He squinted down to his wristwatch, which read just past 7. While patting the front pockets of his jeans, he was happy to find his wallet, even if it only contained some receipts and a few dollars in quarters. It would be enough to buy him some coffee.

There were perks to being the son of a nurse. Steve always knew where everything was so he was never lost. He also learned from the best where the hotspots of the hospital were; where to buy the best coffee or food, where to have some peace and quiet, where to sneak in some _personal time_. Steve recalled the time he and Bucky were caught in a storage room making out, hands grabbing asses and trailing up toned stomachs. The nurse had giggled, shook her head, and just let them be- but not before telling them of a place where they wouldn’t get caught.

Steve smiled fondly at the memory as he settled back into a waiting room chair with his coffee, but he soon after remembered why he had been in the hospital in the first place. His hand tensed around the styrofoam cup, causing the lip to come off with a soft _pop._

_Bucky._

His jaw clenched, teeth grinding, as his eyes burned holes in the cold linoleum floor. Bucky was somewhere in there, and Steve didn’t even know what condition he was in. _No matter what condition he was in, his arm was still hacked off,_ Steve reminded himself with a shaky intake of breath. He set down his half empty coffee cup on the end table beside his chair and laid his head in his hands. _He could be dead._ His stomach felt like it was going to eject itself from his body and his chest tightened. For a second, he could’ve sworn he was having an asthma attack- something he’d grown out of ages ago. He slowly calmed his panicked breathing and sat up straight in the chair, all the while reassuring himself that _Bucky can’t die. He_ wouldn’t.

After he was sure he wasn’t going to die and the tears were dried from his eyes; he hadn't even noticed he'd been crying, thats how exhausted he was, he got up and approached the front desk. A different nurse was there now, one Steve knew. A smile lit up her face as she saw Steve approaching.

“Good morning, Steve,” she greeted.

“Morning, Deb,” he reciprocated, giving a tired smile. “Um… Is it okay to visit James yet?” he asked, and his best friend’s first name felt so foreign coming from his mouth.

Deb held up a finger as if to say _hold on_ , and turned to check something on her computer. Her eyes scanned the screen before she turned her head towards Steve with a sweet smile. Although he could swear something was off about her expression. She seemed sorry, sympathetic, _sad._

“Almost, hon. He should be ready for visitors about when Sarah gets here,” she replied, and Steve checked his watch. 7:21. His ma would be there at 8. Steve nodded. “Okay… thank you, Deb,” he said with a soft sigh, and he returned to his seat.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

For the 40 minutes while Steve waited for his mother to arrive, he tried to focus on anything but Bucky. He counted the fluorescent lights on the ceiling of the waiting room ( _36_ ). He traced the pattern of the seat of his chair with his finger. He tried to separate the other people in the waiting room into different categories. ( _Long hair, short hair. Short-sleeved shirt, long-sleeved shirt. Glasses, no glasses._ ) No matter how many idle activities he did, in the back of his mind he was still stressed and anxious. He at least knew Bucky was alive, but for all he knew he could be gasping his last breaths at that moment.

Steve silently thanked God when he saw his mother come through the door. He jumped up immediately and rushed to meet her.

“Ma, Deb says Buck’s ready for visitors soon,” were the first words from his mouth.

“Good morning to you, too, sweetheart.” Sarah taunted, smiling softly. “Yeah, he should be waking up pretty soon if you want to see him.” Steve nodded and followed her through the busy halls.

“Have you heard anything about Rebecca?” he asked, weaving through the scurrying nurses and doctors mumbling things to themselves. Sarah turned the corner leading to her station. “Yeah, honey, she’s not doing too well,” she sighed sadly. “She suffered a lot of internal trauma, but at least the head trauma isn’t too extensive. But I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s a real trooper.”

And she wasn’t wrong. Rebecca had been playing with Steve and Bucky since she was old enough to walk, and she’d received her fair share of bumps and bruises. But none as bad as this. Steve prayed his ma was right.

“Same goes for Bucky,” she continued, stopping and facing her son when she reached the nurses’ station. “I know you’re worried about him, but he’ll be fine,” she reassured him. Steve looked down at the floor and nodded, but he wasn’t entirely convinced. Sarah noticed this and gently caressed his cheek.

“ _Hey,_ ” she said in a hushed tone. “I swear to you, Bucky will make it out of here, okay? He may not be all in one piece, but that’s better than nothing.” Steve smiled wearily and looked up, locking eyes with his mother.

“I love you,” he murmured.

Sarah smiled and rubbed his cheek with her thumb. “And I love you,” she said back. “Now I have to get to work. Bucky’s in 404. Don’t get into too much trouble, you hear me?” she teased. Steve breathed a laugh and nodded, then Sarah parted ways with him and he was alone in the crowded hall.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Finding room 404 was easy. Entering the room was not.

Steve hesitated outside for ages, trying to find the guts to go in. Several nurses stopped to ask him if he was alright. He responded with a polite smile and ‘yeah, thanks.’

After what seemed like a year- but what was probably only 5 minutes- Steve gradually opened the door, reminding himself that no matter what state Bucky was in, Steve loved him and _needed_ him. And Bucky probably needed him as well, with all that had happened to him within the last 24 hours. One second, his family was driving upstate for the holidays, and the next--

Steve shuddered and stepped into the room. He closed the door behind himself quietly before daring to cast a glance at his best friend. But when he did look at him, his knees nearly buckled beneath him.

Bucky looked pale and sick, reminiscent of a ghost. He was hooked up to all sorts of IVs, some giving him blood, some various drugs Steve didn’t know the name of. His face was covered in cuts, some closed with butterfly bandages and others with stitches. His left eye was swollen shut and there was a nasty goose egg on his cheekbone. And his left arm- _where his left arm was_ was just a stump wrapped thickly with bandage. Steve felt like he was going to be sick, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He was glad Bucky was still unconscious.

Steve slowly shuffled to his bedside and lowered himself into an armchair. He made sure to sit on the right side of him and he gingerly grasped the brunet's hand in his own, noting how cold it was.

He soon heard a soft groan come from his boyfriend and he watched him with hopeful eyes. Bucky’s eyelids fluttered as he came to and he opened them slowly, grey orbs scanning the ceiling. His eyebrows knit together in confusion and he looked to the man holding his hand.

“Hey, Bucky…” Steve said softly, giving his hand a small, reassuring squeeze. Bucky didn’t say a word; his expression only became more confused as he drew his hand away.

“ _Who the hell is Bucky?_ ” he asked hoarsely.

 

 


End file.
